What to Call Your In-Laws in Hindi

Why English gives up at the door

The first time you walk into the ससुराल (sasurāl) — the home you've married into — a roomful of people turns to look, and English hands you one tired word for all of them: in-law. Mother-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law. A single blanket thrown over a dozen different people.

Hindi refuses that blanket. It keeps a separate, exact word for nearly every seat in the room: one for your husband's older brother, a different one for his younger brother, another again for that brother's wife. Nobody is "an in-law." Everybody is a specific somebody. Learn the map and the room stops being a crowd — it becomes a set of named places, each with its own word and its own tone of voice.

If you married in: his side of the room

Say you're the wife. Your two anchors are your husband's parents: सास (sās) is his mother, ससुर (sasur) his father. Those are the reference words, though — the ones you'd use describing them to a friend. To their face you'll usually say माँजी (māṁjī) or सासू माँ (sāsū māṁ) to her, and पापाजी (pāpājī) or बाबूजी (bābūjī) to him.

His siblings split by age, and the split carries real weight. The elder brother is जेठ (jeṭh); his wife is जेठानी (jeṭhānī). The younger brother is देवर (devar); his wife is देवरानी (devrānī). His sister is ननद (nanad). Where English smears "brother-in-law" across older and younger alike, Hindi won't — and that older-or-younger line is exactly what decides how you speak to each of them, which is the other half of this map.

If you married in: her side of the room

Now flip it. You're the husband, looking at your wife's family. Her brother is साला (sālā); her sister is साली (sālī). Her sister's husband — another man married into the same family as you — is your साढ़ू (sāḍhū), the co-brother-in-law. An older साढ़ू you'll often warm to जीजाजी (jījājī) out of courtesy, but keep जीजा (jījā) itself for your own sister's husband, your बहनोई (bahnoī).

One honest flag, because you've surely heard it on the street: साला also lives a second life as a mild swear word, muttered between friends or thrown in traffic. Inside the family it is simply the kinship term and carries no sting at all. But that double life is why people so often reach for the name instead, or a half-joking साले साहब (sāle sāhab), rather than leaning on the bare word.

When the parents meet: समधी and समधन

There's one bond English doesn't even attempt a word for: the tie between the two sets of parents. Your mother and your spouse's mother become समधन (samdhan) to each other; your father and your spouse's father become समधी (samdhī). A real, named relationship in its own right — the families are now kin, not merely connected through the couple.

It's worth knowing even if it never reaches your daily speech, because you'll catch it at weddings and on long phone calls. It also quietly tells you how Hindi pictures a marriage: two households becoming relatives, a whole second family folded into your own.

The real test: आप, तुम, or तू

Naming people is only half the map. The other half is how you speak to them — and in the ससुराल (sasurāl) this is where a first impression is quietly made or lost.

The rule follows seniority. Elders take आप (āp), the respectful "you": your सास, your ससुर, your जेठ and जेठानी, an older ननद, an older साढ़ू. Ask आप कैसे हैं? (āp kaise haiṁ?) — notice the verb turns plural. Mind the gender of the adjective too: to your father-in-law, आप बहुत अच्छे हैं (āp bahut acche haiṁ); to your mother-in-law, आप बहुत अच्छी हैं (āp bahut acchī haiṁ).

Peers and younger ones take तुम (tum): a देवर, a देवरानी, a साला or साली near your own age — तुम कैसे हो? (tum kaise ho?). And तू (tū)? Leave it alone. It belongs to small children and lifelong intimates; aimed at an elder it lands as an insult. When you're unsure, reach up, not down — आप first, and drop to तुम only once they wave you toward it.

How to carry the map in

You don't have to memorize the whole room before the next family gathering. Start with the four or five people you actually talk to, pin each one's word and register to their face, and let the rest fill in by ear — you already understand far more than you can yet produce.

And be easy on your mistakes. Elders notice the आप, the जी, the care taken to get their name right long before they notice a wrong gender ending. The respect is in the reaching. Get the map roughly right and you walk in already sounding like family.